My daughter, Jennifer Reynolds/Gonzalez died 9 months ago, Jan.15, 2009. She had just turned 29 years old.
Autopsy findings from Jennifer’s Medical Examiner, reports that her manner of death was an accident.  She died of pneumonia, a kidney infection and multi-drug toxicity.

We come together this evening, to remember Jennifer and the many other loved ones that have tragically died this year.

Grieving the death of a child is indescribable with words. There is no measuring stick to show someone the degrees of pain you experience. To get the knock on the door in the middle of the night and a see a Sheriff Deputy in uniform standing at your front door is a sickening feeling, to say the least. When you hear his words say your child has just died, everything goes in slow motion at that moment. I had to see her to even believe it. Processing Jennifer is no longer here, that she has died and that we buried her is still shocking to me as her mother. Grieving is a lot of work.  My husband, Andy and I are taking Griefshare classes to help us as we work through our pain of grief.

In writing Jennifer’s memorial, I first got out her photo albums to remind me of who Jennifer was as a child. In our family, she has one older brother, Josh and a younger sister, Sarah and a younger brother, Nathan. She was a great daughter, loving sister, and a wonderful friend to many.

As a child, Jen was always ahead of the curve on doing things for her age.  She learned to walk and talk early; she could ride a bike with no training wheels at 5. As she moved through her elementary years, she had lots of friends, was very active and loved swimming, roller skating, cheerleading and softball. She was outgoing; fairly popular and made friends easy. 

After a routine physical for middle school, the doctor discovered Jen had scoliosis. This was a severe blow to her. She took this news very hard. She was entering her teen years, with an active life and all of this came to a halt with the discovery of her diagnosis of scoliosis. This disease required wearing a full body brace made of plastic 23 hours a day for over a year under her clothes. This was to keep her spine from further curving to a crippling state. She hated wearing this brace, looking different and being different from all of her friends. She had to stop doing her normal hobbies and activities. Her friend’s lives were moving forward but Jen’s life had changed.  Even with the orthopedic brace and closely monitored exams at Shriners hospital, Jen’s spine continued to curve at an alarming rate. She had to have a very serious surgery, a spinal fusion at age 12. She was in intensive care for 3 days.

I believe this surgery was a pivotal moment in Jen’s life. She experienced horrific pain, with 3 herrington rods attached to her spine with hooks to hold her spine from further curving. She was put on IV morphine to manage her pain. This was her first opportunity to have opiate pain medication.

Jennifer continued into high school, an active person, involved in art, student government and cheerleading. 
She had a great passion for cosmetology, hair, make up and fashion design.  All who knew her, would agree, she would have made a great hair and make up artist or a fashion designer. She also was very good at helping others and counseling her friends. How ironic, she would end up struggling with an addiction that came to rule her life.

Jen’s life had a turn of events, one, which produced her beautiful and only son, Trey. She was a loving mother and struggled to pull herself into a life of recovery for his sake.

Our Pastor, Mike McGinnis wrote these words at Jen’s Memorial service:
Today is a day when words like sorrow, sadness, heartache, tragedy, and grief truly become an overwhelming reality in the minds and hearts of all whom gather here.. One cannot help but be effected by the pain that death brings with it. Yet, in the midst of overwhelming grief, the peace and comfort of a loving God can fill and heal the broken hearted. Today. Hope is what we must cling to….

29 years ago, a ray of sunshine burst onto the scene in our family. Jen brought joy and passion to our family. To describe Jennifer, we use words like, Kind-hearted, passionate and poetic. Her friends call her a clean freak, organized, OCDX3 and she thought she was always right,even when she was wrong. Jen touched many people. She never saw the color of one’s skin or their ethnicity. Jennifer’s life was filled with the joys of a loving family, bonds of loving friendships.

Jen’s life also revealed the battles and the scars that each one of us endures in some way in our lives.
She understood her spiritual battle with Satan and in spite of his continual attacks and her stumbling and falls along the way, she was determined not to allow Satan to defeat her. 

Jennifer, Nathan and I shared a love for writing. I will read her poem she wrote, “My God”.

                My God

Written by Jennifer Reynolds
~2007~

Life is a web, tangled and caged
But I see things each day as I’ve aged
I see new things now
It all begins with redemption
All in your heart, it comes with conviction
There is a man upstairs; He’s there when no one cares
The nights when you are all alone, praying and wishing to be home
Our Lord God sent His Son
For us to be
Free of sin and torture
He died for you and me
We see Him on the cross
But he’s alive and living
A God who rose again, so caring and giving
We are products of His miracles working
Even though we have demons starving and lurking
For more sin to manifest and decay our spirit
Jesus almighty, the truth is there
If you choose it
I let the words out of my heart
However they flow
Roads of gold, no sin or pain
Heaven is where I want to go
God, the Son
And the Holy Spirit
Make up the trinity
They are more precious than silver or gold
True divinity,
You see, my Lord has eyes that see no sin
I am proud he is my Father
My first true kin
I choose today to serve a new master
If I would have surrendered sooner
My peace would have been faster
———————————————————————————————————————————–

Nate’s Rap
Dedicated to Jennifer
1/19/09

From the get go, on 75th I was your kid bro
You always mothered me, but that’s your role as my sis though
With me, your goal was always to please
Anytime I wanted it; you cooked me mac and cheese
Watching MTV, Talk Soup and the Box
Our childhood summers, nothing could ever top
Big Sis was there for me when I broke my wrist
Cradled me, comforted me, my forehead is where you kissed
We bond in a way no one could ever know
Better than a best friend,
Don’t want to let you go
I want to let you know that you made me what I am
I may never understand, God’s righteous plan
You were always there to teach me, even in your death
I am proud to say that I walked with the best
I will cherish our talks; I will cherish our laughs
Until the time we meet again I will cherish our past
Your life was a whirlwind, always on the run
They say you’re one in a million, I say you’re like none
You once told me that you would gladly died for me
Words that penetrate my heart, now you can fly before me
First I looked up to you, later you looked up to me too
Now I look up into the sky whenever I want to see you
Jen I have grown because you’ve guided me through
We will be together again Jen, until then, I love you
Love your little bro,
Nate
———————————————————————————————————————————-

Our family would like everyone to know Jennifer’s life and experiences were not in vain. Her life gives an anchor of hope to those who struggle.  As a family, we find our hope in Jesus Christ.

I am an advocate for those who are struggling in the life and death crisis of addiction to drugs and alcohol. I have written an amendment called The Jennifer Act. It is my mission to make changes in our legal system to help the addicted and those families who are intervening on behalf of a loved one.. Death is not an acceptable answer.  Thank you.
Sharon Blair
(Jennifer Reynolds/Gonzalez’s mother)
www.TheJenniferAct.com

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